Dating potential has
become a very common phenomenon today. For the sake of those who don’t know
what dating potential means, it simply means dating someone for what you think
they will become in the future.
Here’s a typical
example. Since it’s harder for women to meet and date rich guys today because
of competition, evolving social scenes etc. some women have devised clever
tactics of identifying potentially rich guys and dating them with the hope that
they will eventually become rich in the future.
Men haven’t been left
out of the dating potential craze. Some men also date women’s potential i.e.
dating women who are pretty animals with the hope that they will settle down
and make perfect wives in the future.
What most people fail to
understand is that dating potential is a formula for disaster? It shouldn’t be
about the type of car you think your partner will be driving in the future or
the person they will be when they eventually get tired of partying.
The best thing to do is
to pay attention to the kind of person you are dating now i.e. what they have
to offer today. If you’ve been dating someone for years hoping they will change
into the person you have visualized them to be in the future, stop wasting your
time! You’ll never be satisfied in that kind of relationship.
It’s normal to want to
change some things about your partner. For instances, you may want to change
how your boyfriend interacts with kids in the hope of molding him into a perfect
father in the future. It is however important to note that if you don’t like
how he currently interacts and relates with kids, he won’t be any different
once he has his own kids with you.
You may also hate how
your girlfriend flirts with other guys. You shouldn’t think or hope it will be
any different once you marry her. You must stop thinking about who you want
your partner to be in the future and deal with them as they are now.
You must be realistic
when dating. As much as you would want to like everything about your partner,
it is important to note that there are a few things you can’t change about
them. Change has to come from within.
It is however important
to have a list of deal breakers. For instance, if you don’t want to spend the
rest of your life with a smoker, then don’t date a smoker in the hope that you
will convince them to quit smoking in the future. Also, if having a family is
important to you, don’t date a man or woman who has little interest in
parenthood expecting to change their mindset in the future. It’s a formula for
disaster.
Instead, steer clear of
all deal breakers in your list. Forget about compromising on things that are
important to you. You’re better off staying alone than settling for less in the
hope of getting more in the future.
Dating a person’s
potential is one of the main reasons behind many failed marriages today. If you
marry someone hoping you’ll change them and they don’t, you will be miserable
and bail at some point.
I personally recommend
having a checklist so you know exactly what you can’t compromise before you
begin dating. There are many very many resources out there about this. Before
you become serious with someone, you better be equipped with the right
knowledge and mindset.
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