Often times, most young men in Nigeria are quick to
see and pick out ladies who are not married in the society. They can go on and
on to give you countless lists of reasons why these ladies are single and why
they would remain so. Their reasons could Center on the quest for material
things by these ladies or their high degree of their pride. There’s need to
shift the search light a bit, to the male folks (Am still very proud to be a
man and I wouldn't change it if I were to come these world again). There are so
many young men who are in their late twenties and thirties and still unmarried
and lonely! What could be the cause? Because going by personal knowledge of
some of my fellow young men and sober discussions I had with them, I have come
to understand that most of them long for a committed relationship, marriage and
a lovely family (My humble self is not exempted from this, please). Below are
some of the salient reasons that could account for the type of situation:
1. THE HIGH COST OF BRIDE PRICE:
Mostly in the eastern region and many unnecessary
jamborees that go with marriage ceremonies (applicable to most part in Nigeria)
has made most young men to crawl into their shells like snails. When I created
a thread on the issue of marriage becoming a luxury in Nigeria, some e-warriors
wanted to slit my throat through their keypads. A situation where you have to
save to facilitate a marriage, couple with other pending projects begging to be
attended to (We all know not everyone is Dangote’s son), you might get confused
and curse love. Especially, when you have so many things to accomplish or put
in place. These days, most ladies would not date you beyond a year without
tying the knot with them (That is if you have not realized that you are the
only one in a relationship that was originally meant for two).
2. HARSH ECONOMIC CONDITION:
With the harsh economic conditions necessitated by
our past rulers and complemented by the corrupt government of the day, many
young men are still struggling to find their feet. You might not know this
until you leave the comfort zone … the comfort of your parents’ home! That is
if you have one! There are peeps who have never known comfort in a home since
they were born! So you think this doesn’t affect our young men physically emotionally
and psychologically? Some have come to ‘hate’ love and marriage yet, they long
for them! This account for why some young men are still unmarried and ‘lonely’.
3. THE LIFESTYLES OF MOST LADIES IN OUR SOCIETY:
The lifestyles of most ladies in our society today
have also made it difficult for many young men to get married. You might hook
up with a lady with a false belief that she is decent and God-fearing; in the
long run, you find out that everything has been a high profile scam!!! What
next? You start all over again to fall in love and start a relationship!
Common! That exercise drains your mental energy like hell!!! This has made
young men to be very wary… many have remained single, still searching.
4. THE CARELESS ATTITUDE:
The careless attitude of some young men is among the
reasons why they are not married. I always encourage younger male to start life
early enough. There are some men who spent their teenage and adolescent years
drinking, partying, and gambling about. They only realize that time is not on
their side when they clock 38! In my neighborhood, there men who are above 30
but their attitude and way of life, coupled with the way they talk and reason
is half their age… not better that the reasoning of a silly teenager!!! If you
are in this type of situation… no house of your own, no job, no degree, no
training or skills, and you in your late twenties or early thirties, I
seriously would want to enter into a committed relationship with you.
ÓAISHA ABDUL RAUF | Relationship Tips.
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