We all love falling in love but when you get
into deep, too quickly, it can spell disaster for you get in too deep, too
quickly, it can spell disaster for your new relationship. Here’s how to tell
whether you fall in love too easily.
Falling in love is a
wonderful thing. It is a sign that your ego defenses have come down and you are
open to welcoming someone very special into your life. Love can all – consuming
causing you to forget to eat, daydream, smile to yourself and have a mental
obsession with the object of your affections. All of these are perfectly normal
reactions when you first meet someone you connect with and are nature’s way of
laying the foundations for a healthy relationship to develop.
For most people the feelings
of falling in love are only triggered when they are matched, and reciprocated,
by another person – then they are falling in love together and it is a
wonderful, exhilarating experience. Some people, however, seem to need no
encouragement or signs from the other person – they fall in love repeatedly –
often with people who aren’t interested, or available, and often with sad
consequences. When they are rejected they are rejected they are as devastated
and heartbroken as someone would be after the end of a long term relationship
even if they have only dated the person a few times. Here we look at some of
the reasons why this happens because and what to do if you are someone who
falls in love too easily.
BEING IN A STATE OF LOVE.
When we talk about someone
being in love we think about that being because they have met someone – that
the love has come from that person and it is only because they have met them
that they feel the way they do – if the person were to stop seeing them the
love feelings would go too.
Being in love has as much to
do with what happens inside you as what happens outside – your heart and mind
are more open, you are in a heightened state of sensitivity; your imagination
is in overdrive; your system is flooded with heady chemicals like dopamine and
pleasure – giving endorphins.
People who fall in love very
easily can often feel all these things almost instantly when they are matched
with someone because this is their natural state. They live in a state of love
whether there is someone there to love or not. When a good prospect comes along
their natural state is heightened as their imagination begins to work overtime
as they conjure up visions of what a wonderful future they will have together.
IMPRINTING.
When a duckling hatches from
its shell it will imprint and follow the first thing it sees even if it is not
its mother – someone who is in ‘love’ can make a very strong attachment to
someone with a minimal amount of encouragement, just a smile or a kind word is
often enough to get their affection. They are keen to find someone who feels
the same way so the good feelings they have can be shared and prolonged.
This isn’t a bad thing, and
it doesn’t mean that someone like this desperate or needy, simply that they are
more vulnerable to falling for people who don’t reciprocate their feelings or
who are scared off by the strength of their emotions. They may experience the
initial rush of falling in love many times but rarely get past the initial
phases to develop a strong and lasting relationship.
BROKEN HEARTS.
If you give your heart to
everyone you meet the chances are that you will get it broken almost as many
times as you give it away. This can be particularly painful for someone who is
in ‘love’ because they are very open and sensitive to begin with and will
experience every rejection at a deep level, even if it is only after a couple
of dates. Although you may not have much choice over how many times you feel
the feelings of love for someone you do have some choice over how often you
express it and who to.
LOVE IS A GIFT.
Being someone who falls in
love easily is an advantages when it comes to dating because you don’t have to
dismantle your own fears and defenses to let someone in but imagine if you
could only give your gift of love once more in your life. This would mean you
would be much more discerning about who received it – they would have to be
someone very special, who you got to know well, to ensure that they were the
right person before you ever said those three words and gave them your heart.
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